Last night I did something crazy, well not in comparison to anything I’ve done as a young man but crazy in my current world. I cut my hair! Tame I know, but something about this new haircut sparked something.
I ran downstairs this morning to put some dishes away, and Sarah looked at me real quick as if not to bust out in laughter. “I know,” I said I look like Beaker from the muppets, don’t I? She couldn’t contain herself and busted out in laughter. “But you like it, don’t you?” – she asked.
Yes, I replied and went on up to my room and regurgitate the event. To be honest, I don’t know why this had such a mind-blowing effect on me this morning. I feel like I haven’t gone outside my little box in a while. I haven’t done anything outside of what I feel a 39-year old suburban dad does.
I guess I got tired of looking at other people on Instagram with nice fades, tattoos and nice clothes. It’s not just about the style but more on the mindset of where I was when I was younger versus where I am now. For some reason, I’ve adopted a plain lifestyle and appearance, boring outlook on life and a terrible example for my kids.
Not two minutes ago, I got off the phone with a buddy of mine asking me to come play out with him a couple of nights a week. The first thought I had was fear! I can’t, I quickly replied; no one wants to see an old fat dude who hasn’t played (drums) in years. So with that thought, I’m cutting the bullshit.
I’m doing everyone around me a disservice by conforming to our suburban surroundings and playing life safe. I’m almost 40, and with that thought keeping me up at night I can’t afford to keel over just yet. The last bell hasn’t chimed, and I haven’t heard shit from the fat lady yet, so as all good new years resolutions start; I’m starting mine right now.
MAA Log: Day 002
Mindfulness, Acceptance, Appreciation
I am mindful that sometimes it doesn’t take a huge revelation from anyone or anything to spark new thought, e.g., a new hairstyle.
I accept the simple fact that I’m no longer a spring chicken and haven’t been for quite some time. I accept that my thought process hasn’t inspired me or invoked new adventures or ideas. I accept the fact that while standing still I’ve invited sickness and depression into my mind which has robbed me of time.
I appreciate my hair cut and what it’s awoken in me. I can’t change the past, but I’m encouraged that my kids are adventurous, young and homeschooled. We’ve done wonderful things by them, and as the tide carries out last year’s crap, I’m excited about what we have in store for the new year to come. We’re only two days away.